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Saturday Morning Funnies – Christian Dating Site Is Looking To Hook-Up

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

This is the body of an email I received entitled, “Question about your site”.

My name is Cindy and I’m the owner of ChristianDatingSites.net–would you take a look at my site and consider possibly listing it as a resource on your website?

ChristianDatingSites.net is the only website exclusively devoted to Christian singles who want reliable information about avoiding the financial and physical dangers inherent in using online dating, serving our readers by authoring articles on topics like how to identify dating site scams and how to deal with one if you fall victim.

Please take a look at ChristianDatingSites.net, and if you agree that it’s a valuable resource, perhaps consider adding a link to it from your site http://thenonbeliever.com/fundamentalists/anonymous-to-westboro-baptist-church-stop-or-we-will-stop-you?

Thank you in advance for your consideration,

Cindy McDonald

Christian Dating Sites

So if any of my readers are interested in the trials and traps of the Christian Singles Dating game, you may want to check it out.

I am just going to file this on under, “Stranger Than Fiction”.

Priests Riot In Bethlehem’s Church of the Nativity

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests and monks came to blows during preparations for Orthodox Christmas celebrations

Scuffles have broken out between rival groups of Greek Orthodox and Armenian clerics in a turf war at Bethlehem’s Church of the Nativity.

Bemused tourists looked on as about 100 priests fought with brooms while cleaning the church in preparation for Orthodox Christmas, on 7 January.

Palestinian police armed with batons and shields broke up the clashes.

Groups of priests have clashed before in the church, built on the spot where Christians believe Jesus was born.

“No one was arrested because all those involved were men of God “Bethlehem police Lt-Col Khaled al-Tamimi said.

“It was a trivial problem that… occurs every year,”

“No one was arrested because all those involved were men of God,” he said.

Nobody was seriously injured in the scuffles, according to the police.

Previous clashes between the denominations which share the administration of the church have been sparked by perceived encroachments on one group’s territory by another.

The 1,700-year-old church, one of the holiest sites in Christianity, is in a bad state of repair, largely because the priests cannot agree on who should pay for its upkeep.

Jerusalem’s Church of the Holy Sepulchre, built on the site where many Christians believe Jesus’s body was taken after crucifixion, has also seen similar incidents.

Source: BBC

 

Demons of The World Beware Of The Exorcist School Girls

Sunday, December 4th, 2011

The five teenage girls might look like they’re in a normal class, eagerly reading their textbooks and answering their teacher’s questions diligently.

But the textbooks are Bibles and the girls all have crosses instead of protractors, as they train to become exorcists – real exorcists who fight demons, curses and evil spells.

‘People do look a bit surprised when I arrive,’ admits graduate exorcist Brynne Larson. ‘When people call for an exorcist, they don’t picture a 16-year-old high school girl.’

But Brynne, from Phoenix, Arizona, is one of a new breed of qualified teenage demon slayers, who answered a call when the Church made the admission of there being a worldwide exorcist shortage.

But despite drastic efforts, supply has still not met demand for the controversial ceremony.

The Vatican’s chief exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth, 85, has revealed that he alone has dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession.

So if the forces of darkness start getting the upper hand, who should you call? Evangelist Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches International – and his remarkable school for exorcists.

‘Think of it more of an exorcist franchise,’ Rev Larson tells MailOnline exclusively.

‘The Church just can’t keep up with demand. But I have 100 teams of trained exorcists working all over the world, and outbreaks of demonic possession are getting out of control.

‘Our phone lines are ringing constantly – we receive up to 1,000 individual requests monthly, and we travel to countries like Africa, Ukraine, England and even Australia.’

But while his teams include exorcists aged up to 70, one group of his protégées are causing waves in the religious community. They are teenage girls.

Savannah Scherkenback, 19, and her sister Tess, 16, are Rev Larson’s latest graduates from his school for exorcists.

‘We have found that our female, teenage exorcists are particularly effective at curing the possessed,’ says Rev Larson, whose daughter Brynne is a supernaturally talented exorcist.

Highly experienced in casting out demons, saving souls, and banishing evil spirits to hell, she is also a student who enjoys styling her hair, shopping and meeting her friends at Starbucks.

Those friends include trainee undergraduate exorcists, Melanie Massih, 16, her sister Christina, 15, also students at Rev Larson’s exorcist school. Click to continue »

FBI Makes Arrests In Amish Haircut Attacks

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

The leader of a breakaway Amish group allowed the beatings of those who disobeyed him, made some members sleep in a chicken coop and had sexual relations with married women to “cleanse them,” federal authorities said Wednesday as they charged him and six others with hate crimes in hair-cutting attacks against other Amish.

Authorities raided the group’s compound in eastern Ohio earlier in the day and arrested seven men, including group leader Sam Mullet and three of his sons.

Several members of the group carried out the attacks in September, October and November by forcibly cutting the beards and hair of Amish men and women and then taking photos of them, authorities said.

Cutting the hair is a highly offensive act to the Amish, who believe the Bible instructs women to let their hair grow long and men to grow beards and stop shaving once they marry. One victim told the FBI he would rather have been “beaten black and blue than to suffer the disfigurement and humiliation of having his hair removed,” according to court papers.

The attacks struck at the core of the Amish identity and tested their principles. They are pacifists and strongly believe that they must be forgiving in order for God to forgive them, which often means handing out their own punishment and not reporting crimes to law enforcement.

The attacks had terrorized Amish communities, Jefferson County Sheriff Fred Abdalla said at a news conference Wednesday.

“You’ve got Amish all over the state of Ohio and Pennsylvania and Indiana that are concerned. We’ve received hundreds and hundreds of calls from people living in fear,” he said. “They are buying Mace, some are sitting with shotguns, getting locks on their doors because of Sam Mullet.”

The sheriff added, “Sam Mullet is evil.”

A defense attorney for Sam Mullet said his client would fight the federal charges.

Mullet told The Associated Press in October that he didn’t order the hair-cutting but didn’t stop his sons and others from carrying it out. He said the goal was to send a message to other Amish that they should be ashamed of themselves for the way they were treating Mullet and his community.

“They changed the rulings of our church here, and they’re trying to force their way down our throat, make us do like they want us to do, and we’re not going to do that,” Mullet said.

U.S. Attorney Steven Dettelbach said Wednesday that religious differences should be a matter of theological debate, not disputes “resolved by late night visits to people’s homes with weapons and violent attacks.” He said he did not know how often hate crimes involve intradenominational disputes.

Those arrested include Mullet; his sons Johnny, Lester and Daniel; Levi Miller; Eli Miller; and Emanuel Schrock. The charges carry a penalty of up 10 years in prison

.The men appeared in U.S. District Court in Youngstown on Wednesday afternoon, and Magistrate Judge George Limbert ordered them detained by the U.S. Marshals Service pending hearings next week.

Attorneys for Johnny and Lester Mullet and Levi and Eli Miller said they could not comment Wednesday on the details of the case. Messages seeking comment were left for attorneys representing Daniel Mullet and Emanuel Schrock.
Click to continue »

The Business Of Human Sacrifice

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

The villages and farming communities that surround Uganda’s capital, Kampala, are gripped by fear.

Schoolchildren are closely watched by teachers and parents as they make their way home from school. In playgrounds and on the roadside are posters warning of the danger of abduction by witch doctors for the purpose of child sacrifice.

The ritual, which some believe brings wealth and good health, was almost unheard of in the country until about three years ago, but it has re-emerged, seemingly alongside a boom in the country’s economy.

The mutilated bodies of children have been discovered at roadsides, the victims of an apparently growing belief in the power of human sacrifice.

‘Sacrifice business’

Many believe that members of the country’s new elite are paying witch doctors vast sums of money for the sacrifices in a bid to increase their wealth.

At the Kyampisi Childcare Ministries church, Pastor Peter Sewakiryanga is teaching local children a song called Heal Our Land, End Child Sacrifice.

To hear dozens of young voices singing such shocking words epitomises how ritual murder has become part of everyday life here.

“Child sacrifice has risen because people have become lovers of money. They want to get richer,” the pastor says.

“They have a belief that when you sacrifice a child you get wealth, and there are people who are willing to buy these children for a price. So they have become a commodity of exchange, child sacrifice has become a commercial business.”

The pastor and his parishioners are lobbying the government to regulate witch doctors and improve police resources to investigate these crimes.

According to official police figures, there was one case of child sacrifice in 2006; in 2008 the police say they investigated 25 alleged ritual murders, and in 2009, another 29.

The Anti-Human Sacrifice Police Task Force, launched in response to the growing numbers, says the ritual murder rate has slowed, citing a figure of 38 cases since 2006.

Pastor Sewakiryanga disputes the police numbers, and says there are more victims from his parish than official statistics for the entire country.

The work of the police task force has been strongly criticised by the UK-based charity, Jubilee Campaign.

It says in a report that the true number of cases is in the hundreds, and claims more than 900 cases have yet to be investigated by the police because of corruption and a lack of resources.

‘Quiet money’

Tepenensi led me to a field near her home where she found the body of her six-year-old grandson Stephen, dumped in the reeds. She trembled as she pointed out the spot where she found his decapitated body; he had been missing for 24 hours.

Clutching the only photo she has of her grandson, Tepenensi sobbed as she explained that although the local witch doctor had admitted to sacrificing Stephen, the police were reluctant to pursue the case.

“They offered me money to keep quiet,” she says. “I refused the offer.”

No-one from the Ugandan government agreed to do an interview. The police deny inaction and corruption.

The head of the Anti-Human Sacrifice Police Task Force, Commissioner Bignoa Moses, says the police are doing all they can to tackle the problem.

“Sometimes, they accuse us of these things because we make no arrests, but we are limited. If we get information that someone is involved in criminal activities like human sacrifice, we shall go and investigate, and if it can be proven we will take him to court, but sometimes the cases are not proven.”

Boy castrated

At Kampala main hospital, consultant neurosurgeon Michael Muhumuza shows me the X-rays of the horrific injuries suffered by nine-year-old Allan.

They reveal missing bone from his skull and damage to a part of his brain after a machete sliced through Allan’s head and neck in an attempt to behead him; he was castrated by the witch doctor. It was a month before Allan woke from a coma after being dumped near his village home.

Allan was able to identify his attackers, including a man called Awali. But the police say Allan’s eyewitness account is unreliable.

Local people told us that Awali continues to be involved with child sacrifice.

For our own inquiries, we posed as local businessmen and asked around for a witch doctor that could bring prosperity to our local construction company. We were soon introduced to Awali. He led us into a courtyard behind his home, and as if to welcome us he and his helpers wrestled a goat to the ground and slit its throat.

“This animal has been sacrificed to bring luck to us all,” Awali explained. He then demanded a fee of $390 (£250) for the ritual and asked us to return in a few days.

At our next meeting, Awali invited us into his shrine, which is traditionally built from mud bricks with a straw roof. Inside, the floor is littered with herbs, face masks, rattles and a machete.

The witch doctor explained that this meeting was to discuss the most powerful spell – the sacrifice of a child.

“There are two ways of doing this,” he said. “We can bury the child alive on your construction site, or we cut them in different places and put their blood in a bottle of spiritual medicine.”

Awali grabbed his throat. “If it’s a male, the whole head is cut off and his genitals. We will dig a hole at your construction site, and also bury the feet and the hands and put them all together in the hole.”

Awali boasted he had sacrificed children many times before and knew what he was doing. After this meeting, we withdrew from the negotiations.

We handed our notes to the police. Awali is still a free man.

‘No voice’

Allan’s father, Semwanga, has sold his home to pay for Allan’s medical treatment, and moved to the slums near the capital.

Sitting on the steps of their makeshift house, built from corrugated sheets of metal, I showed the footage of our meeting with the witch doctor to Allan on my laptop. He pointed to the screen and shouted “Awali!” confirming he is the man who attacked him.

Pastor Sewakiryanga says without the full force of the law, there is little that can be done to protect Uganda’s children from the belief in the power of human sacrifice.

“The children do not have voices, their voices have been silenced by the law and the police not acting, and the people who read the newspapers do nothing, so we have to make a stand and do whatever it takes to stamp out this evil, we can only pray that the government will listen.”

Source: BBC

Uganda Child Sacrifice (Part 1 of 2) – BBC Our World Documentary

Uganda Child Sacrifice (Part 2 of 2) – BBC Our World Documentary

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘The NonBeliever’ Raises The Ire Of Westboro Baptist Church

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Imagine my elation this morning when I checked the email and found a request to approve a comment from someone claiming to represent Westboro Baptist Church.

The comment, in response to our 4/26/2011 post Mississippi Town Finds Solution To Westboro Baptist Church is as follows:

“Dear Friends:

Just when we thought there was no completely new and original way to get the whole nation talking about the faithful ministry of WBC, you found one. You are AWESOME!

Never mind that the story was complete fiction (since we never have and never would waste time driving that far when a plane and rental car is far more efficient), you got people to get an accurate picture of the face of a doomed nation that will no longer endure sound Bible doctrine and therefore God sends them a spirit of lawlessness as divine judgment.

You saved us funds to attend funerals for soldiers and others in Nebraska, Iowa, and Oklahoma, while still guaranteeing that our core message (God is bringing this evil nation into judgment in an open and notorious manner, chiefly by slaughtering their young and their soldiers, because you have turned the country over to the sodomites) has reached a huge audience AGAIN!

Thank you for your faithlessness and your rage against God (that He turns as a testimony for us). If we weren’t busy planning funeral pickets for the latest GodSmack victims, we would send a representative to come and give you a BIG hug!

These words we preach are going to be heard in the ears of 310 million american brutes, by hook or crook, and you are powerless to stop them. That’s how God rolls.

Jonathan Phelps on behalf of Westboro Baptist Church”

It was a little disheartening to find, after a little googling, that we weren’t the only site to get the ‘Dear Friends’ letter.

The NonBeliever is pleased to have earned the attention of the great hate machine.

We are ready and waiting for the day when we can join the the throngs of heathens at the funeral of Fred Phelps. We are planning an orgy of biblical proportions.

Mississippi Town Finds Solution To Westboro Baptist Church

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

****Update WBC Says It Isn’t So (‘The NonBeliever’ Raises The Ire Of Westboro Baptist Church)

On Saturday April 16,  USMC Staff Sgt. Jason Rogers, who was killed in action in Afghanistan April 7, was buried in Brandon, Mississippi.

That, by itself, is a sadly unremarkable – though certainly noteworthy and solemn – occasion for us to mark.

In fact when Sgt. Rogers’ body returned to Brandon it was greeted by hundreds, or perhaps even thousands, of well-wishers who gathered at the roadside to honor the fallen American hero.

What is most notable about Sgt. Rogers’ funeral in Brandon, however, is what didn’t happen.

You see, the troglodytes from Westboro Baptist Church had threatened to spew their poison at Sgt. Rogers’ funeral.

But the Westboro mob wasn’t on the scene, and Sgt. Rogers was laid to rest without incident – thank God.

Why weren’t there protestors?

Planning ahead by the locals, as it turns out.

From an Ole Miss sports message board, a tidbit of information…

A couple of days before, one of them (Westboro protestors) ran his mouth at a Brandon gas station and got his arse waxed. Police were called and the beaten man could not give much of a description of who beat him. When they canvassed the station and spoke to the large crowd that had gathered around, no one seemed to remember anything about what had happened.

Rankin County handled this thing perfectly. There were many things that were put into place that most will never know about and at great expense to the county.

Most of the morons never made it out of their hotel parking lot. It seems that certain Rankin county pickup trucks were parked directly behind any car that had Kansas plates in the hotel parking lot and the drivers mysteriously disappeared until after the funeral was over. Police were called but their wrecker service was running behind and it was going to be a few hours before they could tow the trucks so the Kansas plated cars could get out.

A few made it to the funeral but were ushered away to be questioned about a crime they might have possibly been involved in. Turns out, after a few hours of questioning, that they were not involved and they were allowed to go on about their business.

Fred Phelps, the disbarred lawyer and Democrat activist who leads the Westboro congregation, will undoubtedly pursue some form of legal action for the way his people were thwarted in Brandon. Let him try. There isn’t a jury in Mississippi which will see things his way.

This is a template for how to handle the Westboro people. If lawsuits don’t work, other means will. Whatever it takes to keep them from harassing bereaved military families on the day their fallen loved ones are laid to rest.

UPDATE: Some of the feedback we’ve received from this piece came along the lines that it’s inappropriate to refer to Fred Phelps as a “Democrat activist.”

We stand by that characterization. If anything, it’s an understatement.

Fred Phelps ran for major office in Kansas as a Democrat no less than four times. He ran for governor on the Democrat ballot in 1990, 1994 and 1998 and for senator in 1992. Phelps received 11,000 votes, or seven percent, in 1990, he received 5,000 votes, or three percent, in 1994 and he picked up 15,000 votes, or 15 percent, in 1998. And in the senatorial contest in 1992 he garnered 49,000 votes, or 30 percent. Phelps furthermore ran as a Democrat candidate for mayor of Topeka in 1993 and 1997.

Phelps also has been closely associated with Al Gore on several occasions throughout Gore’s career – Phelps’ son Fred, Jr. was a Gore delegate at the 1988 Democrat convention and the Phelpses hosted a Gore fundraiser in Topeka that year. Phelps claims that Westboro members “ran” Gore’s 1988 campaign in Kansas.

Phelps may not fit within the typical definition of “Democrat activist” some of our readers expect – but a six-time Democrat candidate is an activist Democrat. That is quite clear, as unknown to the public as it might be.

Source: The Hayride

 

 

Divisive Photo Damaged By Vandals At French Exhibit

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Police questioned witnesses on Monday in their search for a man who took a hammer to a controversial photograph of a crucifix bathed in urine at an art exhibition in an Avignon museum.

The modern art museum, the Collection Lambert, in southern France, said an assailant destroyed the photograph by American artist Andres Serrano, “Immersion (Piss Christ)” on Sunday and apparently accidentally damaged another of the artist’s works while struggling with a guard.

It was not immediately clear whether the assailant was part of a demonstration a day earlier by a right-wing group denouncing the 1987 photograph as blasphemous and demanding its removal from the exhibition, entitled “I Believe in Miracles.”

According to police, citing witnesses, two people tried to enter the museum late Sunday morning carrying a can of paint spray and a chisel in their jackets. The guard removed the objects — just as a third person took a hammer to “Immersion.”

The attacker struggled with a guard, but helped by an accomplice, managed to escape, police said. In the struggle, he apparently damaged another work, “The Church (Sister Jeanne-Myriam),” which shows a nun praying.

The police officials asked not to be identified by name because they weren’t authorized to discuss the investigation publicly.

The museum’s doors were shut Monday for its weekly closing. However, it said it will reopen Tuesday with the destroyed works on display so that the public can view the damage. The museum closed early Saturday because of a protest of the protest.

Serrano made the controversial work by placing a crucifix in urine and blood, and it has drawn criticism in the past from some Christian groups.

Young far-right Christian activists from the General Alliance Against Racism and for the Respect of the French and Christian Identity is taking the Collection Lambert to court Wednesday to try to have the crucifix photograph removed from the exhibit. The group denounced the photograph on its Web site, saying it “insults and injures Christians at the heart of their faith.”

The exhibit opened Dec. 12 and is to run until May 8.

Source: ABC News

 

 

CVS Declares War On Easter

Sunday, April 10th, 2011

Don’t be surprised when you walk down the Easter aisle of your local CVS to find that the company has decided to do its part for America’s war effort. Amongst the usual pastel-colored eggs, chocolate bunnies and bright-yellow chicks, there’s a new egg in town for America’s children to discover during their Easter egg hunts this year: the war egg. For $3.99, you can buy a package of camouflage-colored eggs, with matching green and white armed plastic soldiers—the “toy prizes,” that, just like the jellybeans of Easters past, are, according to CVS, “Perfect for Easter egg hunts.”

Shocking? Perhaps. Surprising? Well, not really, given the increasing militarization of every aspect of American culture and society, and the aggressive ‘targeting’ of young people. What is particularly alarming, however, is that it appears that promoting and normalizing war to high school and middle school-age children is no longer enough; it seems that we have to start reaching out to toddlers, too; or rather, children between the ages of 6-12, especially young boys. While war toys and playing war are nothing new, what is new about this particular toy is that it was manufactured specifically for Easter, a time of year when Christians around the world celebrate life, rebirth and renewal. There is nothing in the Easter story, as far as I remember, that even remotely embraces death, destruction and war—except, that is, for corporate America in 2011, and its war-for-profit version of the story and mass marketing of it.

That the CVS Corporation deemed it appropriate to produce and sell militarized Easter eggs to our nation’s youngest children shows a serious lack of judgment, sensitivity and decency, which would be the generous reading of the situation. What is more likely is that it is yet another example of a laissez-faire corporate mind-set that operates within the (il)logic that anything goes if a company can make a buck. We may never know the truth behind the decision to associate war with Easter (what’s next drone Reindeer?): was it due to the ignorance and insensitivity ‘of a few bad eggs,’ who saw the product as ‘just another cool toy’; or was it, in fact, a more deliberate and informed decision on the part of the higher ups in the company’s chain of command? What we do know, however, is that CVS either lacks, or chooses to ignore, a coherent policy of what is and is not appropriate to sell to children, not to mention a clue about what might, furthermore, be highly offensive to its adult customers. (And while it is true that the chain sells lots of products that are not good for children, this particular item is both dangerous and disturbing for all that it represents,)

It is imperative that CVS be held accountable for its decision to endorse the sale of these “Easter” eggs, which specifically target the youngest, most vulnerable and impressionable members of our citizenry who are growing up in an increasingly militarized and militaristic society.

I, therefore, urge CD readers to go to their local CVS store and ask the manager to pull this insensitive and inappropriate product from the shelves. You can also call CVS’s corporate headquarters and file a complaint with them. If enough of us act, then maybe CVS will get the message, and think twice before it decides to market and sell war to America’s children.

Now, assuming CVS does do the right thing, there are going to be an awful lot of unsold war eggs in warehouses across the country. But I have a solution for that, too: we can give the Obamas a call, and ask if they would be interested in using tax-payer dollars to buy them for the White House’s annual Easter Egg Roll. It would even be easy to integrate the new eggs into this year’s theme: all you have to do is change the slogan “Get up and Go!” to “Get up and Go to War!”—which I’m sure the Commander in Chief wouldn’t have a problem with.

Source: Common Dreams

Pole Dancing For Jesus (SFW)

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011

A local Houston Fox affiliate had an interesting report recently on a hot new workout class: Pole Dancing For Jesus.

It’s a women’s only class that happens once a month and you have to bring your church program to get in. At that point, it’s pretty much what you’d expect: your average, run-of-the-mill pole-dancing class powered by Christian rock music. Women are encouraged to develop a positive self-image through the class, celebrating the body God gave them.

And now we’ll go celebrate the hysterical blindness God just gave us.